an open letter

dear guy who stood next to me on the dlr this morning:

i just thought i should let you know that had your arm actually made contact with my face at any point (as opposed to merely coming within a centimeter or so) i would have punched you. hard. probably in the stomach, as you're sufficiently taller than i am to put it about the right level for easy punching. i thought about giving you fair warning when you got on the train, but i was cranky and it was early and i didn't really want to talk, because that would mean admitting that i was awake and going to stay that way. i'm not entirely sure how you managed to take up the whole space between where i left off and where the foldout seats are, or why out of the whole damned train, which wasn't that packed yet since elverson road is only the second stop on the line, you had to stand next to ME. was i special or something? or were you stupid enough to think "oh, that little one must be harmless. i can invade her space with impunity!" because, sunshine, you came within a centimeter of finding out how very not harmless i can be. next time, leave some space between you and the girl you're standing next to. or prepare to defend yourself.

little and vicious,
me

be afraid. be very afraid.

in all the hubbub about the sheer evil of the man, people tend to forget that hitler gave advance warning of what he intended to do. it was there for anyone who cared to know it. he wrote it down and called it mein kampf. people laughed. no one believed it. he then went out and did exactly what he said he was going to do. no one should have been surprised.

now there's another man setting out a scary blueprint for what he wants to do. he's not writing books, though. tom delay just speaks at conferences. pay attention to what he's really saying. this goes far beyond playing politics. anyone who listens should be afraid of what our country would look like if the tom delays of the republican party get their way. the country they would build is not a country most americans would care to live in. they don't want courts. they want stooges. make no mistake about it, they are not republicans. they are fascists. they can dress it up in religion all they want, very little distinguishes them from the brownshirts. or from the mullahs, for that matter. their version of what the government of america ought to look like is not unlike the government of iran.

attention, writer/journalist folk on my friends list

does anyone want to start an online newspaper?
seriously?
we can paraphrase other people's reporting better than the asswits at cnn do.
exhibit a
the original article in the ny times
the nytime followup today

suddenly a light went on in my head and now i'm ready to declare WAR

declared value of package IN US DOLLARS: 200
tax imposed by hm's asshole customs & excise IN BRITISH POUNDS: 35.27
current exchange rate: nowhere near 1:1. daily rate is 1.87something.
vat rate: 17.5%

I AM READY TO LAY WASTE TO HM CUSTOMS AND EXCISE. greedy willfully incompetent money-grubbing limey bastards!

ARGH!

parcel force are MORONS.
they can deliver at any time until 7pm.
and apparently no one at the delivery depot figured out that "Department of Engineering, Queen Mary" is NOT a private address, but in fact a business address, and that it would be helpful to deliver within business hours. so i am STUCK here another 2 hours.

eta
FUCK YOU, PARCEL FORCE.
not only did i sit in the office until 7pm on a friday night, in my aggravation with you, i forgot that i had a credit card payment due today by 1pm eastern time. 1pm. NOT 2pm. which means i now have a fucking LATE CHARGE to pay, AND YOU DIDN'T DELIVER MY DAMN PACKAGE! in addition, i am now cranky because i am starving because i have no food since i wasn't counting on staying in the office until such an unreasonable hour as to require dinner. you are getting an ANGRY phone call tomorrow, assholes, and i have now figured out what sequence of buttons gets me a real person instead of your moronic automated system. i hope you fucking monitor tomorrow's call, you wankers, because i have a thing or three to say about your incompetence.

what a day

made it home without too much further frustration. well, other than missing a bus because some drunk asshole thought it was funny to get in my way and see if i'd actually run into him (the bus pulled out JUST as i made it to the stop) and tesco being run by brain-dead monkeys who can't figure out that if the express line is a mile long, that's a sign you should have more than one of the registers open. thank god for my ipod and pepperidge farm. and thank god that tesco was just being tricksy and false and trying to hide the sausalito pepperidge farms, because i wanted chocolate chunks, not the oatmeal raisin wholesome healthiness they were concealed behind. i broke into the cookies waiting in line and that kept me from killing anyone. oh, eye candy helped too.

so now i'm home, and there should be no further disasters. i've called american express to sort out why they still had the hammersmith address on file, and got it changed to the lewisham address. (apparently the guy i talked to in august changed it in the US address screen. um, genius, if it was a US address, would i have called to change it? no. i would have done it on the WEBSITE.) i am going to take a hot shower and then watch miracle of bern and have ice cream with amaretto cookies and liquor and life will be peaceful and happy.